I was out sailing today, I did not know I was going to go when I arose. … I am always was open to the wind. My ex father-in-law used to tell me that if I can’t adjust the wind, adjust my sails. I guess that marriage was good for something.
I think I failed to mention I was out sailing today after waking up with a bit of a hangover.
I arrived late last night after walking my daemon and slaying a dragon. I had texted Lilly to meet up with me and her daemon, but she was spent.
I slew the dragon myself, of course with the help of my daemon, Mila, and enjoyed a Stella.
I called out to my husband to meet me at home, I missed him. He thinks I want something from him because I randomly text him that I miss him and I love him.
Angels were sleeping in the chariot.
My daemon was still playful.
I arrived home at 11:11. I lit a fire and put three beer in the fridge. I waited and I waited. I wrote.
I waited. I got impatient and picked up the landline. My voice said, “Move ass home, ” the reply on the other end of the line was “Stopped to fix the truck.”
Jew better pay up.
I drink a beer.
I drank another beer.
I take the angels to their chamber.
He arrives, flat out.
He is a true Aries, nothing calms him like a fire.
Not like my eldest angel, a true scorpion, secretive and suspicious.
Just like his story that someone broke into the house and lit the garbage on fire. I couldn’t even do anything but giggle in my belly. Bad mama .. fell asleep. I digress.
We speak. I drink a glass of red, couldn’t open the bottle it has been sitting for weeks… I am useless without a husband.
We enjoy each other’s company.
So anyways back to sailing, I wake up with a headache and go sailing… I guess I could have started the story like that … but there is ALWAYS a story before a story.
Phone dead … no charger… late again. Unable to contact.
I haven’t seen Kernel since the last Feast Day. I am thankful for the meeting and am assured of the direction to proceed for the upcoming Feast Day.
The net is cast and yields success.
I begin quickly casting nets for the Feast Day ahead.
Net cast out for parting gifts … will remain out for 2 weeks.
Net cast out for make-up … will remain out for 3 weeks.
Net cast out for food, it will remain out until Feast Day. I am a gambler and risk taker at heart, this one is key to the success of the feast. Oh, I cast another net this one will remain out for 1 week. A good risk taker always hedges their bets.
Net cast out for the agenda to … I shall call him “The Judge”, will remain out till Tuesday.
I consider casting a net out to my former brother, I shall call him, John Doe. He is unnamed to me. He is not my brother. He doesn’t remember me. He is too far down the ladder. At his rate, he will fail to deliver on the bridegroom.
We play, we eat, we clean.
We wash the filth away and we sleep.
We arise to the alarm… correction I arise to the alarm.
I am late. We are unclothed.
We clothe and set forth to see the brother of Peter and Paul, I shall call him Stefan. I am happy to know him for he comes around only once every half millennia. He is a precise, gentle, spiritual intellect.
We leave in a rush, the eldest has challenged me. I will resist the challenge. There is no fight when one opposing partner chooses not to engage in battle.
I am the Captain of this family’s ship. Sit back and enjoy the view, my sailing techniques can throw you over!
I pick my battles wisely.
I don’t tolerate this garbage language or loss of emotional control. Scorpio or not scorpio.
We eat, me and the youngest listen to the disturbance but resist trying to control the behaviour. It fades like a good high.
Net cast out for my second set of hands. I met her when I travelled to South Africa to see my brother Raphael. He showed me the way, what older siblings are supposed to do. Truly grateful.
I spent 2 weeks playing with lions, visiting Mandelas house and soaking in love. You can read about it in detail in my other life.
My husband returns home. He is tired. I read him like a book. He is the kind of book where the words leap off the page, it is a good and bad quality.
Within 2 minutes order is restored in the house. He heads to the shower to wash the filth away.
I am not complaining but WTF! His mere presence and facial expressions change the demeanor of our children. He doesn’t raise his voice or his hand. Unbelievable. I daily struggle to balance compassion and discipline… failing miserably at both.
My grandfather had a similar way about him. Everywhere he went order followed. Now granted –> he was 7 feet tall, had a good sense of humour and love for God and vodka( – I don’t remember if equally). I reminisce about driving around town with him. He had an icon that sat on his dash. It was like the earth and had an axis so it could spin. On one side was Jesus, the other Mother Mary. I would stare at that thing for hours. I wonder what happened to it? I would give 2 houses away to get it back.
As I stare at it turning around and around he would say things to me like, “Якби всі дурні носили корони то ми все б були царі”. I close my eyes and I remember him and the day he took me in my uniform to shake hands with the queen. Yes, I shook the queen of England’s hand when I was 6. Something tells me my grandfather wasn’t as excited as I was.
We receive a call from the mothership, so my efforts to depart with my daemon on a walk are delayed.
From the laundry room, I hear, “чурка – ты не русский”. You know I remember asking Soccer a while ago what exactly this meant. I have a hard time determining if it is an insult or a helpful phrase. In someway my heart tells me that my husband has a special short language with his mother that they use to cut through the shit quickly because they value each other’s time. I will leave it at that.
I depart, these days I walk the streets for hours. My greatest teachers and friends are the hookers and homeless people. They are resourceful – but only day to day. I worry for them when winter comes, but I know the worry is unwarranted. We all have our station in life, it is their choice to maintain theirs instead of improve it.
I reach the halfway point of my route at precisely the same time every night, the hospital. Here I push the buzzer. As always, I need to pee.
The angels did it to me, but I don’t mind.
I always wonder if the person on the other side of the button can see me hopping from foot to foot with my legs crossed, this thought drifts away.
I return early, messages about angels not able to sleep and a hunt to prepare for tomorrow. I lay down with the littlest angel.
I am pleased to see that my husband has kindly change the ‘c’ from ‘h’ to this word in his vocabulary. The word that starts with c is the most obscene word in the english language, I used to hear it more often than I liked… but it has started to fade like the summer.
Out of the 333 letters I had to write, … I only got to this one.
At this rate I will never reach my quota and get access back to paradise. I so miss paradise.
Uriel invited me for a visit, she had me approved for a temporary visa, I got to learn to surf during my short stint there, you can read about it in my other life. She has been there a long time. I miss her.